Today I uppercutted a moose.
That was during my first work shift of the day. Twas a mighty uppercut indeed, sending it careening up and over my head into a pile of boxes behind me. My coworker stood in awe at my mighty moose crippling blow.
That would have been a perfect end to my work day, but I have to go back for the second grueling all-nighter this week. I’ve slept very little the past 5 days, and what sleep I have gotten has been during odd hours leaving me in a half awake haze and fighting off the sleep monster so I can make an attempt of being productive in my free time. Everything starts to seem a little less real when you’re sleep deprived, and I’ve also come to realize that it’s very easy to keep up a non-sleeping pattern if you can only fight through a wave of tired every day or so. On the positive side of things it means that I get to have Christmas Eve off, the less positive side is that I’ll have worked 17 out of the last 24 hours. These things happen.
I wasn’t expecting to have anything in particular to look forward to for the holiday but Pam had offered to perhaps shoot some pool with me on Christmas Eve. As everyone else I know is either out of town or will be out of town by tomorrow the company will be much appreciated.
Which leads me to another thought I was having earlier of the possibility of the previously mentioned plans probably not happening at all, and my subsequent reaction would be something in the area of an apathetic lack of disappointment, as I’ve come to expect people to never come through on the things they offer. I don’t like to have expectations of people because they can’t let me down if I assume they’re unreliable. I know that I’m unreliable in terms of the things I tell myself I’ll do, so I write everyone else off as being equal to or below my level of trustworthiness. I give people no credit, as much as I give myself no slack in my crippling perfectionist vision. I believe that the world’s players are here, if not to put me down, then to raise me up just enough that the fall hurts a little bit more. I believe I suffer from a broken spirit.
But at least I uppercutted a moose today, and that was fun.