So this afternoon after work, with the prospects of doing ’stuff’ were looking rather thin as the handful of people I know were all busy, I decided to splurge and go see a movie. By myself. It’s not weird. Leave me alone about it already.
I had wanted to see V for Vendetta but it seemed that the only times the theatres close to me were showing it was 7pm and later, and I didn’t feel like burning another 3 hours at home before going to see it, as it would both prolong my boredom and cut my chances of finding things to do later on should someone call in the evening. So I picked Silent Hill over Lucky Number Slevin, despite the rottentomatoes rating being kind of shite and the reviews being quite unkind. Pope vouched for it, and it received the Buddy Bill seal of approval, so it got my vote.
My thoughts? It started out rather abruptly. A little girl had run away in her sleep, her mother chasing her through the forest, with Sean Bean standing back wishing he had gotten a better script. The mother catches her daughter as she tries to throw herself off of a cliff into the raging waters below. The girl, still asleep, screams “Silent Hill” several times. The mother starts a Crusade to find Silent Hill and fix her somnambulent posessed daughter.
At this point I’d like to bring to your attention that the mother’s name is Rose, and the girl’s name for anyone who hasn’t seen the trailer, is Sharon. Rose of Sharon anyone? It’s a bush with flowers. The connection? I have no idea. I read some mythological origins of Rose of Sharon on a page mastered by someone calling herself Paghat the Ratgirl. You can see her page with pictures of the flower here. Upon reading a few paragraphs and realizing it was jumping randomly between mythologies with nothing tying them together in a neat package that I could apply for symbolic purposes in conjunction with the movie, I’ll say that the connection is that Rose and Sharon REALLY love each other. A lot. I think it’s also important to know that the Wine of Sharon is menstrual blood, and isn’t nearly as good as the flux of Carmel, who left some stains on Mount Carmel. She must have mistaken the mountain for a masturbatory device. But I digress.
So Rose of Sharon goes off to Silent Hill and stops answering phone calls from Sean Bean, who is left at home still wishing that he had gotten a better script, and possibly wondering what the movie would have been like had he some motivation to deliver the few lines he did get with any sort of feeling whatsoever. Run on sentence!
I won’t give away any more of the plot as I’ve pretty much covered what the trailer does, and I don’t want to risk spoiling the movie for anyone. I will say that the movie really shines in the creepy atmosphere department where the viewers get a frightening respite from poorly written and delivered dialogue. Some of the films’s visuals will be forever burned into my mind, like the dos prompt on an old crt monitor. Some teasers? Think of the evil dead tree rape scene – then imagine it being done with barbed wire. Ever wish a large man-like creature would grab the flesh of your chest and tear all the skin off of your body before slinging your entrails out of your body with a towel whip-like motion towards horrified onlookers? This movie is your genie.
The story’s resolution is a bit hazy, perhaps making sense to those who have played the games and are thoroughly familiar with the inner workings of the Silent Hill universe. I’m left feeling alternately queasy and bemused, with scenes where Rose reassures one of her compatriots that “everything is going to be ok” later contrasted with a scene where said compatriot is being burned to death with far too much detail worked into the “flesh searing, blistering, splitting open then blackening and bursting into flames” effect. I might have horrible nightmares.
After the movie I went over to Dick’s sporting goods where I browsed for a few minutes until I very acutely sensed that an air raid siren was about to sound, that the world was about to go dark, and that when I finally found a flashlight I would have wished I hadn’t.
I then explored Town Center Plaza as I was fairly unaware of its existence. That and it would be harder for the monsters to corner me if I were outside. I hope.
I’d also like to note that Sean Bean is still in Ohio somewhere wondering where his family is, and to stay the fuck away from West Virginia, as both Hollywood’s fictional representations and my personal experiences dictate that it’s a horror movie waiting to happen.