So here’s the way it goes.

Finals came rolling around and I ceased performing all extraneous functions. That encompassed just about everything creative: writing, drawing, and anything involving sitting at my computer for any length of time. I was also spear-heading a campaign to get to know the people in Kansas City a little better. I also had a trip to Mexico that had been distracting me from regularly scheduled duties. I’ve been spending many more nights a week at bars or apartments trying to pickle my brain with beer and bourbon.

The point that I’m trying to get at is that I’ve been away, mostly. I had gotten sort of used to not blogging since I felt like I was spending so much time trying to craft a post that anyone would give a crap about. It was a load off my back to not give it a second thought, until I visited my page and saw that 2 months had gone by with little more than 2 posts, one of which I reclaimed. There’s been no art, I’ve taken some photos that were mediocre and not uploaded them because of their unspectacular nature. I’ve been having trouble thinking in general lately, having to compete with the unbelievable amount of white noise clouding the atmosphere of my head on any given day. I’m looking into options for fixing that.

I wanted to take classes this summer but couldn’t strike a balance between work and class scheduling. I also can’t get financial aid unless I up the ante a bit and take 6 credit hours. Another hurdle I hadn’t considered is the insane gas prices that I would have to contend with driving back and forth to UMKC 5 days a week instead of 2 or 3. Driving there 2-3 days a week caused me to fill up on almost a weekly basis, so gas $$ would start to stack up quickly. These are unpleasant times.

I’ve also been seeking something to be passionate about. A hobby, a subject, a person. Something that I can keep busy with in my free time, and maybe find other people who like whatever it is that I get myself into. I’m mostly looking for things to learn about that I can then talk to other people about. Although this may be a flawed plan as I’m a person of few words, and I might have vast, untapped stores of knowledge locked away in the vault upstairs but I forgot to write down the combination. Which is to say that I don’t talk to people about our common interests as it is so acquiring new interests probably won’t do a lot to fix that problem. Leave it to me to being a paragraph with a declaration of change and then talk myself out of it in the few sentences that follow.

I really need to find my center.